Musings

2010-01-16T13:55:00.000-08:00

Babies hands
quicksand
when your relax they float
when you pull away they tug and grab like mad

swiss miss

2010-01-16T08:49:00.000-08:00

Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent.
C.J. Jung

Wow. Reading and rereading these words provokes me to investigate for myself, what do i perceive to be my unlived life?
After all, i have only just begun. what is it that i am communicating to my children?

mars n venus

2009-04-06T09:02:00.000-07:00

I've heard it said
That after you have a child you think you know what parenting is all about
and then you have another
and you realize how little you know

so true.
for me.

just stuck lukas in the tub
that'll usually keep him super happy for 25 minutes
and
give me some guilt-free computer time

it's been laundry laundry laundry
this morning
and he couldnt be less interested
like luna, lukas likes to play in the same room I'm in
and can be ok independently making his dinosaurs roar
unlike luna, he could care less what i'm doing
wanna help me sort the laundry? let's fold it together? can you put the towels in the bag for me?
no thanks mama, a jump on the back, a slick kiss on the mouth
anything but yes
i'm gonna close the lights on you mama
the game is on
let's skateboard through the house
let's sneak and eat icecream under the table
Boxcutter,
lighter,
WD-40
and spray it all over the door
the name of the game
is smile, breathe, and remember these days are numbered
live it.

luna woulda been all up in my doings
and still is
sure i can help you fold mama
actually,
i can do my own

planets apart

sshhh

2009-03-25T08:40:00.000-07:00

I'm talking to imaginary people
she announces
kind of self-consciously
as i outside to where she's playing
You re talking to imaginary people?
uh-huh
well what do they say
they say
come play with me
i nod
it's so true
we all hear them

I like my coffee sunny

2009-03-25T08:35:00.000-07:00

Lukas is refilling my coffee mug
Here mama
Can I have some milk please?
You no like it black mama?
No baby
You no like it dark?
I nod
Ok mama
Lukas pours the milk in my coffee
Like that?
I nod
You like it brown mama
You don't like it like nighttime?
I nod
You like it sunny mami

Gettin our Green ON

2009-03-24T07:55:00.000-07:00

There are so many things I love about the time I spend in Puerto Rico with Luna and Lukas
Key ones
are
rhythm and time
we are never rushing anywhere
there is no plan of events
itinerary
con compromisos pa' cumplir
this flexibility
allows for massive amounts
of
cuddletime
sleeptime
foodtime
familytime
unpluggedtime
greentime
bluetime
watch the wind shake the branches time
and stop and listen
for a long time
to the
birds
insects
coquis
and overall random
polyrthythmic nature
around us
i swear the syncopation
starts on those
leaves

Talkin ghetto

2009-03-15T17:56:00.000-07:00

Oldie but goodie from last month i neglected to post:

havin lunch
luna and i at a favorite spot
around the way
when out of the blue
she says
do you know how to talk ghetto mama?
ghetto?
yeah, ghetto english
um, i don't know, what does ghetto english sound like?
you know, like, ain't this and you ain't that she reported with a little tilt of the head
hmm, well , who do you know that talks like that and where did you hear that ?
It turns out the fabulous movie
Akeelah and the Bee was culprit
in the movie, Spelling bar champion Akeelah, is scolded by her coach to stop talkin ghetto and start speakin proper english
the whole thing turned into a great conversation about multiple englishes
started off by my own personal rendition of Spanish Spanishstyle PuertoRicanstyle Argentinestyle Colomobianstyle Cubanstyle and not as successful attempts of a couple others
took it
to English
the coolnes of code-switching
and how usually using the expression talkin ghetto is a put-down and a way of sayin its not as good as other ways of talkin english
when really
they are all beautiful
in their own special way
'nuff said
;)

Second Tooth

2009-03-15T17:40:00.000-07:00

Luna had a super hard time falling asleep tonight
the tooth fairy jitters
her first tooth fell out two weeks ago
but she lost it
and so had nothing to put under her pillow
she even wrote two letters to the tooth fairy
explaining that it disappeared
but the fairy never listened
so now that # 2 fell out
it was under close surveillance
until bedtime
do you really think she'll come mama?
where does she live? i want to visit her....

super sleuth

2009-02-09T08:05:00.001-08:00

being a mommy
means often having to do really gross things
and really not think too much of them
like coming into intimate contact with vomit
or
the reality of my past two days
trying to determine why my son's feces is turquoise
yup
like he ingested a blue crayola magic marker
and everything comin out is dyed electric blue
part of the detective work
means
saving the crap
pokin through it
googlin blue poo
and
tracking it
as in
its more green than blue today what could that mean
the kind of gross
that i will spare my general facebook buds
but will share with the devoted few
who may wanna read on here

From the mouth of babes...

2009-02-03T23:02:00.000-08:00

Driving along listening to talk radio, Luna's in the backseat(daydreaming I think) when I get the question: How do the people on the radio know where there's a fire?
Cute, no> Hmmm...well how do you think? Well maybe they have lots of screens in aroom and they hafta watch everywhere all the time to see what's happening. Ahh, the mega surveillence theory. At which point I tried to explain what a beat reporter does but it was all so sweet really.

Or when recently after having paid the toll at the Holland Tunnel and just wanting Luna to be aware of all the workers we have in our community, small and large, and I start to remark how it must be such a hard job to be a toll booth worker, stuck in that tiny space for long periods of time. And her response was, Well at least they get a lot of money Huh? Yeah, all the money from all the people in their cars. Ooohhh.That was a hard one to explain. Tried to go the toll money was used for public works projects route (is that even right?)But then who gets to hold the money?
Who keeps it in their house?

PTA business

2009-02-01T06:16:00.000-08:00

I went to a fair for all the public schools in my district this week. Ten to fifteen schools were there, each set up at a table with either the principal, assistant principal, parent coordinator or some other parent rep. Schools had flyers, brochures, charts, some even had a slide show on a portable dvd player. I knew heading into this that participation at this fair was probably a district mandate, and besides the few "good" schools in my neighborhood, the rest were pushing a hard sales pitch.
I was interested in what they had to say. What would be the pitch? Why should I send me child to your school? Achievement, We’re really focused on achievement. Achievement. What kind of doublespeak is that? Achievement. We're really working on achievement with our kindergarteners .
I watched the principals try and read me as they spoke. Everyday the kindergarteners are writing. Even kindergarten has computer time every week. We are really focused on raising our levels of achievement. Yuck. Not what I wanted to hear. Or at least not what was impressive to me. Can I get a do-over? Please. This is the part where you tell me they get music and art and a lot of it. This is the part where you say that kindergarteners should play, a lot , and they get to, because truth be told that shit doesn't always happen afterschool. That kids are treated like the beautiful human beings that they are and not told to shut up all the time and sit still. Come on, that's what would hook me, tell me that's part of the package too.
And them at one of the less desired schools, I go over and introduce myself to the principal and request a tour at which point she responds, well our tours are on Tuesdays but if you can’t do Tuesdays just let me know and we can schedule you in whenever is convenient. So really you tell us when you can come and we'll work it out.Wow, I thought that is so incredibly flexible. At the fancy schools there's a set tour date and they never offer to change it. Wow, I thought, is that what she says to all the parents who are milling around this cafeteria or is this just an offering to the gifts she assumes my visible skin and class privilige could bring her.

Doggie Run

2008-11-21T15:26:00.000-08:00

I'm sitting in bed
reading
the door is ajar
and i watch
Lukas
on his hands and knees yelling Ruff Ruff Mommy
Luna throwing around credit cards for her doggie to fetch
a very obedient puppy
Sit and he does

Tear Jerker

2008-10-14T22:44:00.000-07:00

luna cried watching a movie tonite
is was a pretty intense awakening for her
Akeelah and the Bee - how cute is that?
she yells for me pointing incredulously to her watery eyes
look look its making me cry!!
and then she kinda beamed
like she recognized the beauty of the feeling
of feeling compassionate for the character
such a stark difference
to the normal deadpan face projected when watching dose after dose of saccharine children's programming
its like she was astonished
that a movie could provoke her to become emotional.

little does she remember that it did happen once when she was 3
and the movie was Spirit
but still
it was different

sweetly sleeping

2008-09-19T09:52:00.003-07:00

dear lukas leon,

I can't believe you are only 2 and change, 32 months, 3 in January.
I feel like I've been with you forever
but also
not

new layers shed
petals grow

wild
to know you
every single day of life

boy
monkey
lion

Pressing Election questions

2008-09-19T09:52:00.002-07:00

Did John McCain's wife have her babies out of her vagina or did she have to cut her belly?
Did Barack Obama's wife have her babies out of her vagina or did she have to cut her belly?

Does John McCain have any children? Boys or girls? What are their names? How old are they?
Does Barack Obama have any children? Boys or girls? What are their names? How old are they?

Does John McCain have any pets?
Does Barack Obama have any pets?

Birth

2008-09-19T09:52:00.001-07:00

So Luna asks me intensely the other day: How did I get out of your belly? The look on her eyes told me, "don't play ma, what is the story lady?" And so I said "You came out my vagina?" "Oh. But don't some people they have to open their stomach?" And so I went on to explain a C-Section and there were 9 million questions. How do they cut it? Who cuts it? Does it hurt ? And on. The odd, funny maybe deep thing about the whole conversation was that she really had little to no questions about vaginal birth. As if it sounded like the most normal thing in the world. As if why would anyone think it'd ever be too early to tell me that?

Wheels

2008-08-05T08:20:00.000-07:00

Watching Lukas on his scooter is pretty amazing
and its not just because i'm his mom
people stop me right and left
talkin bout how old is he, shakin their heads, as he whizzes by
fearless
unstoppable
blond ambition
flyin by
experimenting with pop-up wheelies
ballerina arabesques
and fancy footwork
weaving through the Loisaida streets
Luna on her 2 wheeler tryin to keep up
with the mad urban surfer
ridin those street cracks
free as birds

when i grow up

2008-08-04T12:31:00.000-07:00

when youre a big kid or a grown -up you get to walk out by yourself
pretty soon im going to be a big kid and im going to walk out by myself and get bubble gum
when i grow up
im gonna have my own house
and i'm gonna live in brooklyn (whered she get that?)

i just love these shoes mama (re: high heels)
when im a big kid and when im a grown up im going to wear these shoes everyday
even when im dead im going to wear these shoes everyday
but not with the same clothes

unbridled

2008-07-31T22:08:00.000-07:00

lukas is talkin lots these days
mostly expressing what he wants
doesnt want
likes
doesnt like
no celebrity talk
gossip or chitchat
just
raw
uncensored
unmediated
outbursts of
joy
anger
fear
sadness
the bigees
and then some
how does it all get so layered
occulted and restrained
why is acting childish a bad thing?

eye level at 3 feet

2008-07-31T21:30:00.000-07:00

Ive let luna use my digital camera since she was three
i say use and not play
shell sit with it, take, delet, and playback images
yada yada yada
anyway so
now and then again she'll request to use it.
with intention.
next thing i know there goes a zillion shots on the memory card
what strikes me about them
is not their framing or composition,
or they being some ironic tongue in cheek type shot of a guy in handcuffs in front of an american flag
but how they so profoundly capture and log
what she deems most significant and important in her world
pictures out the bus window
trees, people, fire hydrants
her new kicks
or the endless digital self-portraits
that someone's dissertation is deconstructing
countless shots of mundane objects in the house
candles and detergent bottles
pancake recipes in cookbooks, purses, toys
the building and her hood
tiled floors, apartment numbers, new friends in the park
dirty feet
grass leaves flowers
simple
i see the world through a childs eyes
what is picture worthy
picture perfect
snapshot or photographs
both

2008-07-03T00:10:00.001-07:00

thoughts before bedtime

2008-04-03T22:33:00.000-07:00

A moment I enjoy very much is the time right before the kids afll asllep. No, to the cynics reading, not beacuse I am happy they will soon be asleep but because it is in that quiet dark space that Luna (so far) will say the most randomest things that help clue me in to some part of her psyche that she has not shared with me thus far. From her "last thoughts before I totallly just knock out" I get a chance to hear what she is replaying or turning over in her mind.

Tonite for example, she asks;
Do you know the game Seven Up?

Memories of first grade with Ms.McCay came back to me.
I'm not sure, tell me about it I say.
I love to hear her explain things.

well you hafta put your heads down and your thumbs up and the picker puts a thumb down
and then you hafta guess the picker.

That sounded right. And intelligebile, at least to someone who's played before.

Why do you ask?

well we played today in summer camp. And I got to be the picker.

Did you gave fun? Did you like the game?

Yeah. they said we're gonna get to play it again. I was thinking when Papi comes back from California maybe we
could all play seven-up, the whole family.

On other recent occasions:

Just one more question before I go to sleep mami...
Am I six feet tall?

Now that was truly random and without further explanation.

Or the more common:

How many more days until my birthday?

Luna and I had a really intense moment not too long ago when I joked with her and told her that next year on her birthday I was only going to put five instead of six candles on her cake. At first she just smiled in the dark, but then when I continued in a serious way about it, she became really upset. Luna emphatically repeated "you can't mama i'm going to be six, i'm going to be six" and it was clear this was something of grave importance to her. Tear provoking importance. I felt badly and told her I was just kidding and I think her sigh of relief was so great it just sent her off to sleep immediately. The symbol of the candle, to imagine feeling that someone could make you stuck at a certain age, it's all such a trip.

Poetry

2008-02-22T14:07:00.000-08:00

So this happened awhile ago, but I wrote it and saved it on a scrap of paper that I just came across...
The setting: Luna and I are at the BAM Martin Luther King celebration . We are sitting in the auditorium. On the stage is a huge ginormous image of Dr. King that serves as a backdrop for the speakers and musicians. Luna is sitting intently looking at it all, squinting. Finally she says, "Martin Luther King doesn't look like a king mama." I brace myself. Oh no, please don't let some kind of crazy ass f*cked up stuff come out your mouth that you internalized from who knows where, I think. "No?", I ask ever so nonchalantly,"Why not?" "He's not wearing a crown, mama. How come he doesn't have a crown?" Thoughts of creating a Basquiat-inspired crowned Martin flashed before my eyes and I smiled. Or maybe the opening lines to a future spoken word.

"It's not that cold today, mama. Do I have to wear my coat? Can't I just wear my life jacket?" Sure, Luna you can wear the vest.

BammBamm

2008-01-30T03:23:00.001-08:00

We may just have to be the Flintstones this Halloween
Lukas is full-on Bamm Bamm, what with his blond Dutch boy bob and
superpower strength that belies his age.
Like the cartoon toddler, Lukas often yells for the sheer joy of it while pounding the floor with drumsticks, hammers,dinosaurs,(yes all handy items).In the process he will either shake the room hes in or have us crack up at the contrast of it all. Whether it's rearranging furniture, or doing chin-ups at the monkey bars, they are all feats of Lukas Leon.
Lukas is also really into wearing Lunas old dinosaur/dragon costume and running around growling and roaring at us. And how could I forget to mention his ever penchant for night-time suckling in the most carnal way possible

Lukas- The Profile

2008-01-30T03:10:00.000-08:00

What can i say about my little boy these days except I think I need to move his middle name Leon to first name status?
He does roar on a regular basis, you know.
I have no idea how it started, but every now and again, Lukas Leon is apt to belt out a Lion King roar at another toddler touching his things. This strategy works very well in fending off a few of his buddies- no wonder he keeps it up. Besides his feral proclivities, Lukas is confident, active, and sometimes called "she" by folks due to his long hair. He loves animals and making animal noises, especially those of sheep, cows, pigs, horses and cats. He repeats everything Luna does and wants all day long- except the neveverending desire to dive from the armrest into the couch. That's all him.
He is a fan of yogurt and saltines, and pizza. Exclusively.
He is talking up a storm and still wakes up in the middle of the night. Every night. Hence, the three am emails you may receive from me.

Kid art

2008-01-07T23:35:00.001-08:00

It is so hard for me to part with Luna or Lukas' artwork. the scribbled scraps of paper or labored chorus of hearts sing of an overflowing creative energy
to lack the responsibilities of grown-ups
the nonsense of maturity and seriousness
it is no wonder hey are so happy speeding so much time channeling artistic expression
part of me saves so much because in my heart i know the days of multitude of drawings will grow dimmer and although their creative spirit will surely manifest itself in other ways, right now i'm just loving seeing it visually in front of me.
maybe it is only the doodles a mother could love, but i am their mother
damn it
;)

Bad grammar

2008-01-07T23:29:00.000-08:00

I really can't bear to correct them when they make mistakes
I know Luna won't be saying I liked-ed this or I liked-ed that at thirty
and Lukas won't be saying I want casa neither
so for now it's just too damn cute to hear them mix it all-up
the waiters (meaning flight attendants) on the plane who needed to bring us earmuffs(meaning headsets)
maybe it is because i am such a linguistics lover that i love it so much
the made up vocabulary
the spanglish
the grammar
or lack thereof
walkin poetics.

Unbridled kinetic enthusiasm

2007-12-07T13:45:00.000-08:00

Throw me on the bed
throw me on the couch
dont you worry
iwont flinch or say ouch
lukas is a raging bull
a silly puppy
a flirt
a sweathead
a blonde ball of jibberish mixed with cinnamon and spice
theres no girl way to put it

wow

2007-12-07T13:32:00.000-08:00

Mami is it true when you die your spirit comes out again and you die again or do you just die forever?
I'm not really sure Luna, what do you think?

I think if you just die one time and your spirit comes up then you become alive again and you arent died anymore and then you die again, for awhile, like a whole weekend and then your spirit comes out over and over again

Let's pretend Lukas dies and I feelded Lukas' spirit on my shoulder and I said I feel Lukas' spirit and then he comes alive again and I would say "Lukas I feelded your spirit!"

If you died I would feel your spirit was ticklish and I would have to get it out of my way
If papi's spirit came out he would be tickling my hair and that's not very nice and I would shoo him away
Let's say I died and my spirit came up and went over the hills and into my house...

See what I mean, mami?
I think thse are good ideas Luna

Back to School

2007-09-18T22:19:00.000-07:00

Luna's at "Big School" now.

Although she's only 4 (and 1/2)and in pre-k, she now has the opportunity to potentially rub elbows with prepubescent kids in the stairway daily. There's a lobby and over 200 kids in the building at all times and lots of adults running around whose name she does not know. This is a far larger than her hippy dippy nursery school on St.Marks with a total enrollment of 35 where anything goes.

I did not anticipate her having any issues with "Big School". Ive always been impressed with her flexibility and adaptability and after a little prepping on my part, I anticipated a smooth transition. And it was. Relatively.
Day one and two were breezes. "I go into the room first", she warned me. But on the morning of day three when Luna started to pack a purse for school with slippers she wanted to wear when she got there and little treasures to show her new buds, I thought better. "I don't think you'll be able to wear your slippers luna" i said. "And I think we better leave your purse here at home." Luna looked at me incredulously, shocked by the suggestion. "well ok, let's take them but we have to ask yourteachers when we get there if it's ok".

Sure enough,when we arrive Luna confidently marches to her cubby and proceeds to take off her shoes and put on her slippers. "Wait, let's ask Caroline - I said and turned to her teacher who was nearby watching. "Well you can bring them to school, but they have to stay in your cubby" she said. "And the purse and treasures too?" I asked. "Yeah, they have to stay in your cubby Luna."

Luna was heartbroken. She started to cry. "But it's not fair" she said. "I just want to be comfortable and wear my slippers". The voice of her St.Marks teachers echoed. "I don't want to stay".

But she did. After some coaxing, Luna stayed and now we've made it to day eight. The coast is clear. She's happy , likes her teachers and got some friends she enjoys playing with. Luna's 'big school' would hardly be described as a strict place, but it does have a few more operational and structural rules than her former spot. Nap time with shoes on, practice quiet voices in the halls and stairs, less choices at work time. It is warm, but feels more restrained. Big hugs seem to be the exception, not the rule.

Now this first impression may soon change. And I am 100% sure that this is the best place for her now - just because teachers aren't cracking jokes with her day one is not a bad thing. I guess I am just noting the ever so slight introduction of "steadiness" to her schoolday routine - the undercurrent of seriousness about her daily activities that is new. She really is getting to be a big girl.

Spontaneous

2007-09-18T22:07:00.000-07:00

gracias papa
por esta comida que tu hiciste para la cena
te amo
gracias por mia y mila y leila, mis primas
y gracias por la comida que papa hizo
y todo el mundo
y quiero que me des muchos candies
amen

One of the relics of Luna having spent the first three years of her life with a Very religious babysitter is her call to prayer before meals. Often when we sit at the table together for a meal she will extend her arms, reach for hands, look around the table and ask with her - "who's going to say it?" At which point Pablo or I may volunteer, but it's always sweeter when she does...

or i'll just write'n my blog... ;)

2007-07-30T13:01:00.000-07:00

theres a ton of books being written these days my mothers about their experiences as mommies
apparently no one is buying then
i'll tell you why.
we have plenty of mommys at the playground or on the street validating our ambivalent mommy feelings that it seems pointless to read in prose
to hear someone else complain about not sleeping? or complain in a book about the things we might like to complain about but don't want to say out loud?
Or to read about someone else spending 10 minutes watching their child sleep because they can't pull themselves from the magnetic angel theyve birthed?
we know the song and dance...there are very few new revalations
this project called Motherhood
is my day to day
consumes most of my thoughts anyway
and so
if i do a have a minue to sit down and pick up something to read,
id rather read The Times.

Abandon

2007-06-18T17:37:00.000-07:00

Big up to the most gorgeous baby west of 7th street, Ms. Uma (babyuma.blogspot) - I'm back on the blog front!!!
and sho' to be takin inspiration from your moms'
the most dedicated blogga ever
what follows are bits and pieces of little things ive drafted that've been sitting in the draft folder way too long:

Luna said recently "mommy i wish you were a little girl and you could come to school and play with me all day" in the sweetest damn voice lookin up at me with her Bambi eyes and all i wanted to say was "yes i wish i could be a little girl like you too baby"
at close to 4 1/2 luna seems to be going through the adolescence of ealy childhood...theres the peers and theres the parents. one minute she's changing into a dress because she wants to "match Julia", or she wants me to leave her alone because she "needs privacy", the next she's begging me to rest my head or her pillow and stay with her until she falls asleep or looking for my smile when she's dunked her head in the pool for the first time. i sense her push and pull , and go with the flow beinning to feel nostalgic for just a year ago when she seemed lightyears younger and less independent

and my little luks?
my little adorable swedish son? i could have left him at the petting zoo for days thrusting fistfuls of feed at the goats and sheep
bracing myself everytime at his abandon
lack of fear in the slightest
and let me tell you that yould think the alpaca would look like the craziest creature ever when your 18 months
but little lukas was just freakin out at the animals everywhere
trying to pet them
(or pull their tails)

lukas doesnt walk
he runs
hes always ran
its been about 8 months now that his little torso is being propelled forward
somethin about his build makes it s that his center of gravity seems lower and he just
takes off
the second hes out of the stroller
hes off
running
and falling
and pointing
and yelling
"mire this and mire that or "mami, mire this and mami mire that"
stumbling
and running running
not looking back

luna nd lukas were taking a bath the oher day with their friend Lucian
(yes, the L possee)
having a glorious time
lukas filling and dumping and refilling an empty botte of shampoo
Lucian and Lukas taking turns spraing each other with the detachable handheld shower head... i swear luna would just lean back and lucian would spray her body
it was this pure moment of abandon as he wet her like cleopatra in the nile
and i prayed she would always be as secure
and hang-up free

Manorexic

2007-05-09T10:44:00.000-07:00

Lukas has a fabulous diet. Bananas, grapes, yogurt, bread,cream cheese and the occasional spinach pie. Let's not gorget his favorite: potato chips and popcorn.Somehow he still manages to pick up large heavy things that would make you gasp in surprise, like dumbells.

Too cute

2007-05-09T10:43:00.000-07:00

Luna crawling around like a turtle with Lukas on her back like the shell.

it's the thought that counts

2007-03-06T20:09:00.000-08:00

Luna turned the big 4 today. Somewhat anti-climactic for her, as I expcted it to be. Just like last year, Luna has a hard time understanding what a birthday without the party. So when she went to sleep last night I reminded her that tomorrow was going to be her birthday , but Saturday was going to be her birthday party. Ok she said.
And so this morning she got up and we all wished her a happy birthday and she seemed mildly confused and then I brought her to school in a craze because Pablo woke up sick as a dog and couldnt do the kid routine so i was running around trying to get them ready and drop them off befor going to work late, To make a long story short I drop her off at school, and she looks like a raggedy mess, with no special birthday outfit or bows in her hair or even lunch in her bag. Not that she seems to notice.
But
I'm at work all morning thinkin bout what a bad mommy I am and how could i send her to school like a scrub when it's the only time she's going to turn 4 ever and i need to get her some lunch somehow
and so
I jet out of work at noon
and cab across town
run into a pizzeria
grab her a cold slice and then scavenge through a bodega
thinkin bout
what could I possibly bring to her class to hook it up birthday style
and damnit why didnt i bake her cupcakes the night before or something like all the other mommies out there
( i was takin care of sick household the night before, but anyway)
so thats when I see an entenmann's chocolate cake
for $4.69
just like the kind my dad would sometimes buy at the Entenmanns outlet by my house as a kid. the place where they sold three day old cakes for a dollar.
and i ran to her school, stormed up the stairs, had her teacher tell me "it's 12:15. lunch started at 12:00. she's starving."
i scowl and apologize and luna seems so delighted to see me
and i just love that
next comes hiding in the corner and lighting the cuatro candles
and her grinning and bashful all at once
we sang happy birthday
and gave out the chocolate topped yums
it was good
Then Luna asked - but where are all the goody bags?????

Fotos

2007-02-20T19:58:00.000-08:00

So it's just way too much for me to put the photos of the babies up on the blog (at least right now), but since I have gotten a bunch of requests for pics of the little ones, bookmark this flickr site and you can chek them there every now and again when I load up new ones
love
moi

http://www.flickr.com/photos/mamairene/sets/

Recent fabulous quotes from Luni Tunes

2007-01-18T22:50:00.000-08:00

"Where did you go yesterday?"
I went to a wedding. My friend Johnita got married.
"I want to get married"
You want to get married? Why?
"I want to wear the dress....."
Do you know what it means when you get married?
Head shakes no
It means when two people promise they want to be together forever, like abuelito and abuelita.
"Are you married with papi?"
No, but we''re almost like we're married. I rattle off alist of other couples that are married.
"I'm going to marry Lukas! We are going to be together forever!!"

Arguement over wearing a hat in the cold. She is on her scooter. Luna really does not want to wear it and begins to cry.
What's the big deal I ask? Why can't you just wear your hat?
"I want to feel the wind in my hair Mami!!! I want to feel the wind in my hair!!!!"

Eavesdropping

2006-11-27T15:18:00.000-08:00

The scene:
I'm on the computer in the soon-to-be hooked up den/office/spillover kids room. Luna and Lukas rae occupying themselves for the time being in her room. Luna seems to be mostly talking to herself and her friendsat school that she imagines to be there with her. She seems to be negotiating sharing her sandwich(also imaginary ) with them. She is also using big grown-up scissors to cut pieces o f packing tape that i think she's using to make/tape some papers together. Lukas is quietly pulling most things off her shelves and tossing them on the floor. Lukas starts to grunt at her.
Luna interrupts her monologue, turns to him , and says, "Si, lukas yo me llamo Luna. Muy bien Lukas. Yo me llamo Luna." She then turns back around and continues talking with herself.

Quote of the Day

2006-11-27T15:13:00.000-08:00

In the backseat, out of the blue, Luna says:
" Mama, Irene is like mama como Luna is like Moon, right?"
Luna's first analogy.

the juggling has officially begun

2006-10-25T20:00:00.000-07:00

lukas is now 9 months old and its been harder for me to write since i went back to work
it seems kinda crazy since its only twice a week but it really does add chaos into the mix
the juggling has officially begun
Lukas is a freakin delight
his top three teeth just bared themselves to us this week
today he stood for a second without holding onto anything
and even though he still seems to be the pickiest eating 9 month older at the thompkins sqaure park playground
my mom did get him to eat a lentil today
see it must the Spanish cooking
he doesnt want that gerber bottled crap i buy
i supppose i gotta sautee him up some food mixed with love
maybe hen he'll put on some weight
pablo and i did our first pre-k tour yesterday at a local public school
it was ok - didnt love it , didnt hate it--if luna went there itd be fine i suppose
weird thing was that the school is 53% black and latino and the overwhelming majority of the folks on the tour were white....did that have to do with the fact that the tour was at 9 and parents would have to potentially go late to work to tour and some people can afford to miss work and some cant? i dunno....then the parent coordinator who gave the tour ws PuertoRican but a white father from the school volunteered to "help" out and accompanied u son the tour and chimd in and helped give answers to questions parents asked...i noticed none of the other white led tours seemed to have similar "volunteers"...... i dunno, but it definetley had me thinking about the racial politics and choices in my daugters upcoming education...too many things to figure out
luna is as wonderful as can be..she is very busy writing these days. love stiny little notepads where she writes rows of the letter L or O and then translates the messages for me.
shes my little squirrel, her toys are like acorns that she carries around the house with her..i find them hidden behind cereal boxes, in my bedside drawers, next to my toothpaste...wrapped in toilet paper, napkins, covered with tape - these are her treasures. A found seed. A special pen. An envelope discarded.

New on the kiddie front

2006-08-21T21:37:00.000-07:00

Lukas turned 7 months today. Still offically refusing the bottle so next week when I'm back at work will not be fun at all for Titi , his babysitter. tried baby food again today after a brief stint in Germany and then a two week hiatus. The peaches and bananas were a huge hit ,the avocado and zucchini made him gag and vomit. I'm really hoping he's not going to be a picky eater , but i have a slight premonition he might be. Maybe he just has a sweet tooth.
his favorite thing to do these days is crawl around and sample everything with his mouth. we especially need to be on shoe alert since that seems to be his number one attraction. WE.ve been keeping them in a box by the door that Luna will cover when she sees him crawl in their direction. He also likes to stand by the stove and watch the action.
Luna is just three going on thirty. She's reminding me all day of things I need to do, groceries we need to buy, and the laundry we need to pick up. Can you tell I've been doing my thinking aloud around her? She's also super into writing. She has a zillion little notebooks and pencils or markers and she imitates me making lists of things . She's always asking me what are you writing mama? She gets so excited when she recognizes a letter of the alphabet or spots a letter in her name in a different word. Lately she's really been into playing with her dolls. She'll play by herself- I hear her cooking for them, reading books to them, putting them to sleep, caring for them when theyre sick. It is so damn precious. Delicious. And in the past two months she's started to pick out her clothes. THat's another new development.Scrumptious.

Duplex denial

2006-08-21T21:18:00.000-07:00

So Luna, Lukas and I are sleeping on the couch together tonight. And it's not a pullout-couch.
THis two floor thing is just hard for me to maneuver alone with the kids. I guess I'll have to get a baby monitor like a suburban mom.
The problem is I'm worried they might roll off my bed without my body to barricade the edge. So since I didn't feel like going to sleep tonight at 9:30 , like I probably should have, I had to put them to sleep upstairs in the room where I can email.
A flight of stairs to go to the bedroom? It all feels so disconnected and far. After all, I'm justa simple girl from Queens who grew up in an apartment with one bathroom. I don't know...I'm starting to miss one room living. Too many rooms to spread the mess and then worry about straightening up

having sick children sucks

2006-08-21T20:09:00.000-07:00

so it's almost funny to me now that I see the last time I had written was at the beginning of what proved to be two sick weeks with Lukas, which included eight nights in the hospital, and now it's all over and done.
I would not have guessed the last time I blogged that Lukas/ two day fever would slowly creep to 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9 days of fever topping out at 104.4. Oh also a three day rash in the middle. And a night in the hospital whie they tried to figure it out and pricked his body for test tubes.
this inexplicable condition(later called "randon virus") left poor LL's immune system shot
and ripe for the attack
of a nasty bacteria that blew his eye up to the size of a golf ball. Boy had his eye glued shot. Looked like he had been knocked out in round one by some giant baby boxer.
All kinds of tests, blood tests, urine tests, Cat Scan. You name it. Damn eye refuses to buckle to antibiotics. We had a scary few days where we wondered how much more the infection would spread. The pediatric opthamologist and company had to basically pry open his eye and hold it open with these torturous calipers. Yes they used numbing drops. No I don't think they worked because I've never heard him sream like that and he had me crying.
Finally on day three his eyeball began to appear once again. Never so glad to see an eyeball in my life.
Had me shacked up with him at Hotel St.Vincent's( as I referred to my stay) ...Swear I was getting bed sores from that damn twin cot we shared. Yes he had a crib. No he did not sleep there.
Pretty great view of the West Village from our suite. Seventh Avenue rarely has traffic and WEst 11th Street looks like a forest from above are my newfound conclusions. It's really nice to get daytime visitors because mostly people are usually at work and it's a loooong day since they are basically checking his temperature around the clock
Hospital food left me looking like I need to be fed and no I wasn't going to be ordering $ 10 minimum delivery three times a day. Had my hour of parole when Pablo and Luna would visit in the evening. THen I'd take Luna for a stroll so we could do a little motherdaughter bonding and I could leave the eighth floor.
Haven't watched that much daytime TV in my life. i now have a newfound addiction to Oprah, The View AND becoming their new host. Call Barbara Walters now.
On the brightside,
we did do some serious bonding, Lukas and I. As much as I wanted to read my paper or magazines, Lukas would only let me at it for 15 minutes or so before his rotation of crib toys thoroughly bored his ass. So mostly he'd just hang on the bed with me. WE cuddled. Boy did we cuddle. That was the best. He's so damn cute. And in a twisted way it was nice to just disappear and not have to deal with the day to day nonsense and just be holed up in a hospital reading Star magazine and spending serious QT with my Lukis
And it was wild to take note of this killer maternal instinct aimed at every person that approached my child. I scrutinized their hands and took note of their personal hygiene. Requested they scrub up if necessary .
THe whole hospital sociology is enough material for a doctorate thesis so that was pretty interesting to witness and observe. THe pecking order of nurse assistants, nurses, residents and doctors...never mind that all the residents appeared to be younger than I and so their manner and tone was generally just weird...
The best part was when I scolded the res and told her I didn't like her bedside manner. Ok I'm clearly rambling.....
POint of it all is Luna's on rotation now at the infirmary which is my house. SHe's got an ear infection. So now each of them is taking two different medications that need to be administered at different times of day in different doses over different periods of time and I swear that that in itself is a full-time job. Like I need to make a huge chart/timeline of it all and stick it on my wall.
On another note I am so very priviliged not to have to worry about hospital fees, doctors rates, or the climbing number of sick visit co-pays I've accumulated this August. I have good health insurance. I am in the finicially stable position of being able to stay by Lukas' side for eight nights in the hospital. I have a partner that helped me with Luna and could turn to for emotional support.
And there goes two weeks of my life because really Ive done nothing else except manage their health and try to stay sane in the process. Children replace you as the most important people in the world. And that is a joy . To love so much. Gotta go wake up Luks. Time for his meds.....

vaccines suck

2006-08-04T01:34:00.000-07:00

poor little LUki has not been such a happy camper these past almost 48 hours
the damn shots just made him into zombie baby and now hot baby
as in damn this baby's hot, hot
as in give him a bath at 3 in the morning to cool him down and i think we gotta keep track of his fever rectally hot, hot
poor baby
i started to really freak when he turned his head away at my boob
i couldnt believe it
what? how you gonna deny yourself my boob in your time of need
made me a little panicky-he must really be not feeling well i thought
for a brief hot second fleeting thought sof weaning him flashed
but the sadness at the prospect that followed set me straight
go figure
being a mommy, a stay at home mommy is to dance the yin and yang of motherhood
most of the time i am loving it, but then there are the moments of struggle
i love how connected i feel with him, the communiation that passes in our eye contact is unreal
how is it that a mother can know exactly what her child is feeling---it is no wonder then , that she panics when she can't figure out what it could be
i love my lazy days with him, bathing him old school in the kitchen sink
my companion for the day
all day --my sidekick, my buddy
it is special
by home is starting to take shape
i am giving myself to the end of the month
then i have to start to shift and begin to focus on other things hopefully
but it is pretty hard to do when you live in clutter
tryin to clear the clutter these days
come over and take some home with you
nah
just carry it out
;)

ms.independent

2006-07-11T17:27:00.000-07:00

everything is preceded by I can do it myself
and the crazy thing is she can
or at least it seems as though ever since she pulled her dora suitcase through the berlin airport something magically transformed her into a little girl
im not a baby mama
im a girl
she can dress herself, full-on pull the shirt over her head and get the arms through
i skipped over picking out the clothes, another brand new development

she keeps herself amazingly busy when lukas naps in the hotel room by working
im working mama. i cant talk right now .you have to wait a few minutes
then she procedes to throw all her clothes on the floor and individually fold (or attemppt to fold) each one and place them in a neat anal row
she'll do the same with lukas' things and offer to refold all my clothes also
she also works at the desk making methodical rows of the letters L and O on hotel note paper, cutting them up with scissors and folding them into presents for us or she'll play with the digital camera and go through the photos we've taken and remind me of all the little details ive already forgotten about each one

the bathroom door is closed sometimes these days
i need privacy mama
ok i say and pretend to nonchantly continue doing whatever i was doing slighly saddened? miffed? pushed aside? by the closing door
ooh im gonna freak when she leaves me one day for good

a penis looks kinda like a hot dog, right mama?
this i get ten minutes into naptime when i coulda sworn she was sleeping
what prompted this thought at a totally nonpenis moment?
i do not know

lukas in deutchland

2006-07-11T17:17:00.000-07:00

lukas podowsky is a famous player on the geramn national soccer team
been the running joke when i say his name
hardy har har
lukas leon will be competing in some infant weighlifting competition any day now because boy is he strong
no joke
my boy is crawling and sitting up and basically pulling himself up and he's ony 51/2 months
out of control
all on my milk because try to get him to swallow a spoon of carrots and no way jose
lately hes finding the carpet at the hotel lobby most interesting as well as mauling any travel brochure, map, or colorful publication
fell off the bed and suffered a slight bump and scratch to the head but nothing a few pellets of arnica didnt heal right up

2 weeks in berlin and counting....

2006-07-11T17:11:00.000-07:00

honeysuckle
strict adherence to all street crossing rules even if there is not a moving vehicle anywhere in sight
lady taxi drivers riding fancy beamers with built in child booster seats
child friiendly germans at the sightseeing spots leeting mamas with kiddies jump to the front of the queue
pregnant women on bicycles - why dont I see them in new york?
naked children running buck wild at the playgrounds
beer at the playgrounds
sandboxes at the beer gardens
inflatable kiddie pools by the tables outside next to bar
tasty apple fizzy soda
cheap delicious icecream
and croissants
who would have guessed
styley grocery carts at the market
and lots and lots of green

the male energy at the stadium was palpable the day of the argentina germany game
the homophobic chants by the argentine fans "a esos putos hay que ganar" and the brawny german men double fisting beer was overwhelming
something about being in sucha sausage filled stadium made me uneasy
the physical presence and power of all these men srceaming
i missed the long lines at the ladies room
where were all the ladies at?
thousands of people at t he event and barely no line for the toilet
now that is pretty damn wild

turtle

2006-06-22T14:28:00.000-07:00

intense
determined
focused
chill
easy
words i hear over and over about my cub, not yet lion, more turtle with his too small head for bigger body
crawling along pine planks
i'd add mama's boy to the list
along with
sweet.
together we watched the brazil japan game at ZumScheider
fiercely clutching my finger when the barheads cheered, Luks looked to me with a quizzical expression
whats all the noise?
don't worry baby, just try and fall asleep
metaphysical communication
works

samsara

2006-06-19T21:56:00.000-07:00

luna has this incredible vision of her life's course..
basically she's been talking about her future journey over the past few months as though it is fluid and not linear . She'll say things like "when i get smaller I'll crawl" or "when you're a baby [to me] you'll be in the stroller" or better yet, "when I 'm a boy I'll have a penis"...I look at her and nod and smile when she says these things and I wonder is she alluding to some pat life expeience or memory on these pronouncements???
she's only three years out my belly, much closer to the Source than I am so that's gotta count for a whole lot of unadultered wisdom...She will have a penis when she's a boy, I'm just not sure when that'll be although Luna seems to be sure it will happen
the past five months with Lukas in our lives have been huge for my Serenita. her english has just skyrocketed- her teachers can't believe we don't speak it to her at home...and boy does she love to play teacher. reading her books aloud to an imaginary audience, stopping way too often to reprimand the class to pay attention, sit straight and be still. the indoctrination has begun
she's been my incredibly patient sidekick through these months- I can count on her to remember where I put my keys, bring me my purse, watch Luaks so he doesn't roll off the couch..
speeding a block ahead of me on the scooter I see her taste freedom in her hair, it comes out her fingers...
the family is the reocurring image in her figures- it used to be just faces but now we all have bodiesand hair, next to her signature L
one mommy friend said she could see luna as a healing arts therapist when she's older. wouldnt be bad to have a masseuse in the fam, her teacher says she'll be a journalist, but luna says (unprompted) when she's big she's gonna be a teacher
and that was Not my idea

outta my system

2006-06-19T21:51:00.000-07:00

I better start posting before this blog gets cancelled or something
so much has happened this month that it really has felt too hard to write
mostly its the fact that ive been here alone with the babies while pablo is in germany so thats been challenging
to tell the tuth lukas is really just as chill as could be
its just the compression of not getting a break, or having downtime that builds up
hes got a great temperament and is getting so strong its incredible
but he's still sleeping really poorly through the night and 5 months of not more than three hours at a stretch is getting to me
by 9 pm by patience is super thibn so the best thing i can do for them is get them to bed as early as possible
;)
but its all good
this too shall pass
and now onto more upbeat posts

All aboard the Love Boat

2006-05-18T07:36:00.000-07:00

so my current life situation could really not be any more stressful
i don't think
pablo is working 15 hour days and aging by the second-
I need to ship the poor guy to Canyon Ranch for a month when the World Cup is over. He does NOT take stress well
WE moved. the renovation isnt done. were living in a space with boxes for an indefinite amount of time and im beginning to feel the heat from members of the building about us staying there. weve been wearing the same clothes for 3 weeks now and life without tv and computer and toys has been interesting. more just like the days are soooooo long.
thats supposed to be good, right?
what will iremember about 2006? the year i had lukas and designed and made a home. thats what i did. itll probably take the rest of the year to finish.
i feel alittle lost in it all- havent really been able to do much for myself- all my energies are on the kids and the renovation and trying to make our living situation comfortable and the fact that lukas won't take a bottle doesnt help the situation. i have a few art and business ideas id like to get underway but i really have no idea when i could ever begin to do them....
that makes me sad so let me instead think about
my beautiful buddha baby who is smiling at me now
Senyor Sonrisas I call him
or little Nikita(as in Khruschev)
or Burrito Baby
since he cant stay asleep
unless he is straightjacketed into the most tightest wrap ever
overhearing a conversation here at Alt Coffee:
"THings that are worth it are usually hard " says one coffee drinker to another
Is he talking to me?
No se
Luna has been saying she's pregnant lately
SHe holds up her shirt and says she has a baby in her belly
Mi baby se llama Irene she says
no se llama Irene(I-reen)se llama Irene(e re ne)
how cute is that?
admist all the chaos both little babies seem well adjusted
despite their nagging cough
i hope its not the construction dust and toxic fiberglass that i run them through on occasion
that they tramp through our home
the mark of Official Homesteader children I suppose
Preschool moms recount that Luna is always super happy and sweet with everyone
like the Carnival Cruise director of the class
my yogurt addict child

After the rain

2006-05-12T11:04:00.000-07:00

It is an absolutely glorious green day. I am so thankful to have a park on the corner that I can walk through to get just about anywhere.
Lukas was so lucky to have been born in January, so he could hibernate at home the first few cold months and then open up his chubster self to Thompkins Square Green.
Went to go see about "work" for the Fall today at some neighborhood schools. Also a nice covert way to walk around spaces where Luna may be spending her day in a few years.
Been thinking a lot about the semantics of word "work" in my life now.
When is something you do considerd the verb work? what connotations and baggage does the word carry, especially when in relation to motherhood?
Is it work only when you are paid for something? No, that is only work as employment. The other broadly used definition is when you are exerting yourself physically or mentally in order to do, make, or accomplish something.
Is that what I am doing now? When do I clock in? and When do I clock out? Do I ever?
How is that "making" or accomplishment measured? How is the dedication of the time to nurturing a relationship with my children measured? Does it fall under the canopy of "work"? Perhaps a new word for the time and energy spent with children , particularly with the raising and caring of children needs to be created.
More on that in a future posting.
Now I'm just glad I'm not at work. I actually have time to walk around with Lukas and think about these things.

Happy four months LukasLeon!

2006-05-09T21:46:00.000-07:00

Pulling up to close to the halfway point of 06 in the Prius and where has the time gone? .Pretty much 100 percent into domestic responsibilities and endeavors my dear watson. Giving life to Lukas, caring for him, seeing LUna through her first few months of preschool, moving our home, designing and preparing a new one...it is the stuff of a life, not the stuff of a resumee
Lukas is a full-on 4 month baby now. His infant Shar-pei wrinkles have been filled in with lots of chub..He is a super smiler
i know his secret tickle spot just to the right of his heart that will guarantee a giggle. and the conversations. i swear we spoke for twenty minutes the other day just gurgling back and forth with a few high pitched other sounds thrown in there for variation. he's also a total mamas boy -he hates the stroller and the bottle. that qualifies as an official appendage. I have five limbs in case you didnt notice.
the never ending drooling recently means i think i may have to battle out some early teething while Pablo is away
geez louise i hope not
Marcelo says Lukas' hands are like quicksand
when you relax they barely do anything
but when you pull away they tug on you

Im in love with a boy named Lukas Leon

2006-05-04T11:11:00.000-07:00

ok so im having flashbacks to backpacking in remote peru and sitting at an internet cafe...except im sitting in the east village nowhere close to ancient indigineous spiritual magical place - or am I?
so
so when your house is full of boxes and you dont have tv bc the antenna is packed away, or any other screen for that matter, and the day is a Gorgeus as it is today, you hit the street
and you stay there ALL day.
And there is somethin so cool about just hangin out all day.
It's like when the blackout happened the summer of 03 and i was a stay at home mommy then too...just hangin out, chillin, actually stopping to talk to people who pass you by, smiling at strangers, who then are no longer so strange
and therees nothing like hangin with a new baby
just taking in blessings left and right
this morning they told me he was gonna be a singer with the lungs on him
we shall see. and Mikey Victor who I just met , nicknamed him Bubbaand is gonna watchhim as soon as he gets over his titty fetish
gotta love the PuertoRican passmebyes. Only they, as I am sashaying with crying Luki down the street, will call out "Wanna be my girlfriend? I know you got a husband...." Theyre so good like that.
Also met this amazing lady today whos been living on my block for over 50 years. she must be in her70s. old jazz singer that stil tours just spouting wisdom. lovin up my beautiful boy. talkin bout her travels and her men and her life as a rolling stone and im so grateful i wasnt multitasking when she walked by.
not to say that im not usually proud of my multitasking abilities. but what are they truly good for? only being totally unZenlike in the worst way, usually.
14 weeks since Lukas Leon entered my life and it has passed me by as Ive multitasked him away. Breastfeed and walk and talk on the cellphone. All at the same time. I can do it. Ive done it.
Now im like...why??????
Sure a lot less gets done when youre not multitasking or running around, that is fo sure.
But Im tired of being the task master.When its all said and done life unfolds only one moment at a time, whether or not youre paying attention. And all those moments count. THey add up to a childhood, and a life. And a whole lot of memories.
and i know it is hard as hell , for me , to try to be mindful all the time but how joyous and grateful do i feel when i am slowing down and paying attention. those nine months waiting for this little person and yet here he was and i was already missing it, preoccupied instead with the frantic tedium of life. So
Thats what is so great about having Luna and Lukas in my life. they are so Zen, appreciating every tiny miracle of the here and now. and this is what makes their mama so crazy, even a wannabe Zen mama like me. especially when it takes 45 minutes to walk a block because Luna has stopped to marvel at all the cracks in the sidewalk or the water running into the street drain. but where am i rushing off to anyway?
So in case youre feeling aggravated that im not answering my phone these days
I may just be shootin the shit with my neighbor
or
have my new love on my boob

Motel 7 Day2

2006-05-02T06:45:00.000-07:00

so
my life is pretty nightmarish right now
the place we are in is like a large storage room
we are surrounded with boxes and we all sleep in the middle on a queen size mattress
dont know where anything is
no fridge or stove
its not like you can "hang out" there - well unless u r sitting on the mattress
crazy
and our space will be ready
god knows when
luckily luna is such a trooper
im amzaed and how flexible she is being to all these changes and transitions and moves
despite the fact that theres no routine
even lunch for school now has to be whatever i can get at the deli for a 3yr old
like hard boiled eggs and bananas
shes so good
she keeps me going
not to mention little lukas who just sucks away
mamas boy
inhaling construction dust all day long
left him with malcolm and allie at lisa's yesterday while i went to move the car and i could hear his blood curdling cries from the street (lisa is on the sixth floor!!!)
he loves that titty
so here i am at my fav old school internet cafe
Alt Coffee
where I guess ill just check my email every morning
since im basically urban camping on 7th street
come visit
pull up a box
at Motel 7

His name is Jackson.

2006-03-31T15:45:00.000-08:00

My daughter was flirting today.
Full-out
hair tossing
shoulder shrugging
whirling and twirling
flirting.
I couldn't believe it. When I went to pick her up from school one of her teacher's said "Luna's got a new boyfriend. His name is Jackson. She's been running after him all day." Really? I asked, secretly annoyed at the subcontext of heterosexism that her remarks implied. Then she pointed toward the playground corner.
There was my daughter, mouth agape drooling over two roughhousing boys. I walked over,said hello and introduced myself as Luna's mother. THat's Jackson, Luna pointed batting her eyelashes. She looked at me for less than half a second, eyes locked on Romeo's. Where was the Mommy Mommy gleeful run with open arms that greeted me daily? Not today. Clearly he was far more deserving. Ok Luna we have to go, I said. Nice to meet you Jackson. Bye Jackson Luna blurted as she laid a fat wet one on his lips. JAckson, two years older at the ripe old age of five, smiled sheepishly, clearly delighted with Goldilocks' affection. I reached for her preschool palm. It was still little and snot sticky.