ok so im having flashbacks to backpacking in remote peru and sitting at an internet cafe...except im sitting in the east village nowhere close to ancient indigineous spiritual magical place - or am I?
so
so when your house is full of boxes and you dont have tv bc the antenna is packed away, or any other screen for that matter, and the day is a Gorgeus as it is today, you hit the street
and you stay there ALL day.
And there is somethin so cool about just hangin out all day.
It's like when the blackout happened the summer of 03 and i was a stay at home mommy then too...just hangin out, chillin, actually stopping to talk to people who pass you by, smiling at strangers, who then are no longer so strange
and therees nothing like hangin with a new baby
just taking in blessings left and right
this morning they told me he was gonna be a singer with the lungs on him
we shall see. and Mikey Victor who I just met , nicknamed him Bubbaand is gonna watchhim as soon as he gets over his titty fetish
gotta love the PuertoRican passmebyes. Only they, as I am sashaying with crying Luki down the street, will call out "Wanna be my girlfriend? I know you got a husband...." Theyre so good like that.
Also met this amazing lady today whos been living on my block for over 50 years. she must be in her70s. old jazz singer that stil tours just spouting wisdom. lovin up my beautiful boy. talkin bout her travels and her men and her life as a rolling stone and im so grateful i wasnt multitasking when she walked by.
not to say that im not usually proud of my multitasking abilities. but what are they truly good for? only being totally unZenlike in the worst way, usually.
14 weeks since Lukas Leon entered my life and it has passed me by as Ive multitasked him away. Breastfeed and walk and talk on the cellphone. All at the same time. I can do it. Ive done it.
Now im like...why??????
Sure a lot less gets done when youre not multitasking or running around, that is fo sure.
But Im tired of being the task master.When its all said and done life unfolds only one moment at a time, whether or not youre paying attention. And all those moments count. THey add up to a childhood, and a life. And a whole lot of memories.
and i know it is hard as hell , for me , to try to be mindful all the time but how joyous and grateful do i feel when i am slowing down and paying attention. those nine months waiting for this little person and yet here he was and i was already missing it, preoccupied instead with the frantic tedium of life. So
Thats what is so great about having Luna and Lukas in my life. they are so Zen, appreciating every tiny miracle of the here and now. and this is what makes their mama so crazy, even a wannabe Zen mama like me. especially when it takes 45 minutes to walk a block because Luna has stopped to marvel at all the cracks in the sidewalk or the water running into the street drain. but where am i rushing off to anyway?
So in case youre feeling aggravated that im not answering my phone these days
I may just be shootin the shit with my neighbor
or
have my new love on my boob
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment