super sleuth

being a mommy
means often having to do really gross things
and really not think too much of them
like coming into intimate contact with vomit
or
the reality of my past two days
trying to determine why my son's feces is turquoise
yup
like he ingested a blue crayola magic marker
and everything comin out is dyed electric blue
part of the detective work
means
saving the crap
pokin through it
googlin blue poo
and
tracking it
as in
its more green than blue today what could that mean
the kind of gross
that i will spare my general facebook buds
but will share with the devoted few
who may wanna read on here

From the mouth of babes...

Driving along listening to talk radio, Luna's in the backseat(daydreaming I think) when I get the question: How do the people on the radio know where there's a fire?
Cute, no> Hmmm...well how do you think? Well maybe they have lots of screens in aroom and they hafta watch everywhere all the time to see what's happening. Ahh, the mega surveillence theory. At which point I tried to explain what a beat reporter does but it was all so sweet really.

Or when recently after having paid the toll at the Holland Tunnel and just wanting Luna to be aware of all the workers we have in our community, small and large, and I start to remark how it must be such a hard job to be a toll booth worker, stuck in that tiny space for long periods of time. And her response was, Well at least they get a lot of money Huh? Yeah, all the money from all the people in their cars. Ooohhh.That was a hard one to explain. Tried to go the toll money was used for public works projects route (is that even right?)But then who gets to hold the money?
Who keeps it in their house?

PTA business

I went to a fair for all the public schools in my district this week. Ten to fifteen schools were there, each set up at a table with either the principal, assistant principal, parent coordinator or some other parent rep. Schools had flyers, brochures, charts, some even had a slide show on a portable dvd player. I knew heading into this that participation at this fair was probably a district mandate, and besides the few "good" schools in my neighborhood, the rest were pushing a hard sales pitch.
I was interested in what they had to say. What would be the pitch? Why should I send me child to your school? Achievement, We’re really focused on achievement. Achievement. What kind of doublespeak is that? Achievement. We're really working on achievement with our kindergarteners .
I watched the principals try and read me as they spoke. Everyday the kindergarteners are writing. Even kindergarten has computer time every week. We are really focused on raising our levels of achievement. Yuck. Not what I wanted to hear. Or at least not what was impressive to me. Can I get a do-over? Please. This is the part where you tell me they get music and art and a lot of it. This is the part where you say that kindergarteners should play, a lot , and they get to, because truth be told that shit doesn't always happen afterschool. That kids are treated like the beautiful human beings that they are and not told to shut up all the time and sit still. Come on, that's what would hook me, tell me that's part of the package too.
And them at one of the less desired schools, I go over and introduce myself to the principal and request a tour at which point she responds, well our tours are on Tuesdays but if you can’t do Tuesdays just let me know and we can schedule you in whenever is convenient. So really you tell us when you can come and we'll work it out.Wow, I thought that is so incredibly flexible. At the fancy schools there's a set tour date and they never offer to change it. Wow, I thought, is that what she says to all the parents who are milling around this cafeteria or is this just an offering to the gifts she assumes my visible skin and class privilige could bring her.